so, this is my life. and I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.....


it's an odd place to be, through the eyes of a wallflower. i wonder what they're thinking -- the ones who are smiling, laughing, goofing off. their smiles seem plastered, fake even. i wonder who wants to be there as much as i do, until the burden of social obligation knocks on their door of solitude. i wonder what they're thinking, those who chuckle politely, those who sit back, taking pictures, those who make the funny comments, who laugh along.

it's an odd place to be.

yet a total of six people asked me if i was okay tonight in a period of about 15 minutes. e. said... i'm not where i'm usually.

maybe tonight's just a night where i feel like leaning against that familiar wall and just watch. in the inbetweens of reality and a place my thoughts often wander. ....

it's an odd place to be.
but sometimes i like it.