three days. three days i've been back, and already all notions of second semester sophomore year being real and changing have washed away by the blinking lights of the intersection of 63rd and cass. i drove down 63rd at night with the windows down, blasting superchic(k) on shine.fm, waiting in the front of the same blinking intersection. (how many times have i driven down that road at night now? hundreds? ... )

maybe this is why home is so scary. it's where i've made mistakes. the football field where that night never should have happened. the house where we got into that fight and i started to cry. this and that and that and this and regrets, oh regrets...

more and more, i see the silent exodus. i see, and i wonder... am i any different? why have i stayed? is it because i sg-led? is it because i served every other sunday morning? what is it that keeps any of us walking (closely) to this faith?

when everyone else has left the battered cross as a trite decision of their pasts... what makes you stand?


she won't make a sound, alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down
she wants to be found, the only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down..

so stand in the rain
stand your ground
stand up when it's all crashing down

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