And what would you intend to find?
Solitude?
Your peace of mind?
Holding out for something less
Than touching the hand of God?
-- better than ezra, closer.

i spent the last two hours sifting through photos from the past. it's kind of surreal -- every next click of the mouse brings back another smile, another memory, another part of the past. and these were the photos pre-anything -- pre-dating, (or psuedo-dating for our generation), pre-driving(.. pre-accidents), pre-drama, pre-church politics, pre-.... being jaded.

the time we went to navy pier over the summer just to sit on the concrete slabs and try to dip our toes into the lake. numerous trips to ice cream places, movies, lunches, chicago. retreats, planning, videos, skits, laughs, pranks, cakes, birthdays. dress-ups, games, dances, sleepovers, movies, ramen.

i'm starting to realize how precious youth group // high school years.

the other day i friended the girl who was my "big sister" summer before sophomore year. she baked me chocolate chip cookies and wrote bible verses on little slips of hello kitty paper. i have no idea where she is now.

.. and i keep thinking. why me? why out of the so many who were at youth group, camps, retreats, outreaches,.... why did so many of them leave? and why am i still here?

i don't really have an answer for that.