ps. 13.

i don't know how long the break between v. 4 and v. 5.... but i'm currently stuck at verses 1-4.

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?

-- what's this generation known for?
jobs, internships, prestigious jobs, 401k, ivy league. superficial. raucous. jerks. apathetic about everything and anything but ourselves.

-- what's this christian generation look like?
.
.
the same...?

and yes. i know if i were to vocalize this to any one "rational christian," i'd get the well documented "we have hope in Christ who died for our sins," blah blah blah. screw that. do we LIVE like that? are we doers of love and mercy and joy and truth like James presses us to be? 'cause if we are, i'm not seeing that. i'm not seeing a transformed hope. i'm seeing the same people, same students, condemened to this sin that we can't shake.

i have such an absence of hope for this campus, for this generation. i remember attending a women's bible study back over winter break and walking away so disappointed because they just shared about the same things that high schoolers struggled with -- job, money, apartment.

where do we get a grip that it's not about us anymore?

i guess we don't.

even ninevah couldn't do it. nahum documents it. they fell to sin.

we fall to sin.


God i just want to wrestle with You right now for some hope, some little HOPE that this campus and this fellowship is still under your reign and somehow, through these freakin' sinful people like myself You can do something to bring yourself glory.

show me.