let's rearrange,
i wish you were a stranger i could disengage.



//

my judgemental heart says screams that you don't know what you're talking about.

how do you know justice until you have seen injustice? i've been "studying" justice for the past two years. i've done thesis papers on what it means for poverty to be sin, i've taken writing seminars on what it means for socioeconomics and racial background to affect liberties, governments, tragedies. and i thought i knew what it meant. i thought i knew what justice was.

then i went to new york. and that "i know what i'm talking about"s flew out the third story window of a broken down apartment in the bronx... and deciminated to a ... what the heck am i doing at my job. at my major. in my life. why am i learning about how acceleration affects time paradoxes and not doing something more tangible with my faith?

my small group leader emailed me yesterday, forwarding me the email i'd first sent him about wanting to go to nycup. i'd be meaning to call him lately.

he's going to the city.
and for some reason, i feel like i should be doing that too.

"yes, the city's scary. yes, inner city social justice is a hard, hard issue. yes, it will be a leap of faith. but i'm tired of this 'maybe' crap. none of this, 'i might have to work that day.' take a day off. or 'i have to think about it.' honestly, how long does it take for you to think? it's either a flat out no, or a 'yes i'm scared.. but i know God will be faithful.'" -- m. (maybe you should tell the rest of the yg this too.)

sigh.
gaaaaah
*frustrated*