"hey.. how are you?"
"i'm... mm... yeah i dunno...."
"you okay? you look tired.."
"no... no, i'm not tired. it's just been a very.. surreal evening."
"oh really? surreal in a good way..?"
"mmm kinda like... have you ever felt like God's gonna do something so big, so powerful that you're almost scared?"
"sometimes... that kind of surreal?"
"yeah...."


i think i just had the most surreal night of my Cornell career.
.... and i don't know what to think.

i'm scared, so scared, but excited, and smiling at the end of my first conversation after it, like i got shoved back into the real world, and i'm not sure what to think or believe or question but it's not scary if it's from God, right? and it is from Him, and i honestly don't know what i'm doing anymore, maybe im finally letting go and letting Him take control but sometimes where He leds is scary....

.
.
.

sometime next week will definitely be the most surreal experience i've ever had in my life.
and somehow... i'm assured by the fact that it's all from God.