hillsong . you are my world


every 6 or so months at ccmc, starting in 2002 (as i can remember), we write letters to our future self. to date, i've written 5 letters. and for the first two years, i used to put my old letters in with my new one so i could get a broader spectrum of where i was spiritually.

then i got my letter back a few weeks ago from spring 05.

"no past letters included. you're FREED from the past.
(skip some stuff)
... read your old journal entries. check up on old friends. see what God's brought you through... His love, His expanse, His grace... is all very real. You'll be radically changed, wendy. i'm looking forward to it."

and it's weird how God knows what we need when we need it. it's all part of some seemingly entropic plan that we find ourselves in for the better.

this morning, i was listening to a sermon on ps115 and while i was writing something down, my pen ran out of ink. so i paused the sermon, and looked all over my room for another working pen. then.. i found a jumble of old letters, ones i wrote to myself in the past years.

"wendy... you need to accept that things won't always be perfect. just worship. stop focusing on the miniscule things in life."

"..look around the yg. are they the same? no? good :)"

"there's a King on a throne. get off it, and let the King sit."

"when you look at colleges, PRAY. don't go somewhere just 'cause your friends are going." --> definitely didn't do that, haha.

"you better NOT be dating!!! .V. if you are... hehe just kidding. but BE CAREFUL!!!!"

"read james 4 in case you get in future arguments." -- haha i need to do this too :P

and that's just from one letter, middle of junior year. i was a strange kid back then. and these past few days, it's been strangely reminscent to look through old letters, memories, photos, reminders of people i need to be remembering and praying for. but it's been good to look back, pause, reflect. see what God has really been doing.. how He's been moving.

sigh.

thank You for not giving up on me, God. even though i gave up my junior year... thank You for being a God of redemption. and my story of redemption lies.. right here.