i've been having really strange dreams lately.

so last night, i dreamt that service was somewhere in chicago. so during breakfast, i called you to ask if you could pick me up, since my house was on the way. except you sounded different, and made an excuse about my house being out of the way and hung up. james was there at breakfast, and thought that was weird also. logically, my explanation was that someone kidnapped you, picked up your phone, and pretended to be you. i texted you twice, and you didn't respond either time. so logically, your kidnapper killed you, which prevented you from responding on your phone.

so i was getting more worried, and the breakfast place only served $60 pizzas. so i thought it was too expensive, and went to a less expensive pizza place to get food. somewhere along the way, some older brothers and sisters showed up, all seeing how worried i was about your death. when they asked what was wrong, i told them i was worried about you because you didn't respond, and i said i thought about calling you -- they were all quite supportive. so i called you, and to my utmost relief you picked up (quite alive). and you asked me what was wrong, and i said i'd tell you later. i asked you for a ride, and you said you'd be here soon, and hung up.

later, at the cheaper pizza breakfast place, you called again. you said you'd be there soon to get me.. and you asked me why i ignored you when everyone else was around. i said i'd tell you later when you came... then you asked why it was so hard for me to honest with you with everyone else around. your voice was cracking, and it sounded like you were struggling to get the words out without crying....

"why were you ignoring me..?" echoed

then
i woke up.


why is it so hard to be honest? i'm not quite sure.....

but hey, it's just a dream.. right?