i ended up re-reading all my old entries from 2005 this year. and i realized that after a certain point.. sometime halfway through the summer, most of my posts on this blog became private.
mm... here's me again, wanting to be real. hi.
it's been a good feeling to learn how to trust God. i always thought i was pretty good with that, but it wasn't until i got to cornell that i learned how to truly abandon it all for Him. last week, had a liquids, solids, gases and thermo prelim for chem and was... quite worried in the midst of things. i almost told my small group leader that i couldn't lead sg because i was so 'busy.'
but i lead the bible study anyway. you told me you were glad i had my priorities right -- truth of the matter was... i didn't. i told you i'd lead sg out of the same fear i had last year through servant team - i didn't want to disappoint you. but man... God.. you can still take things rooted out of fear and shame and make it into something beautiful. so thank You for showing me that the urgent things aren't always important.
it's raining outside right now
and it might snow tonight
sometimes, if i sit really still
i can feel Your presence
in every single thing around me
and that's how we know we're living.
it's just so easy to forget.
so here's to new beginnings
to remember that there's life in Christ
that we don't live a life of guilt or shame
but one in freedom.
and what a glorious thing that is.