anatomy of a walk
I think, now more than ever, i'm feeling excited.
This past week was just kinda bum-ish. Was stuck in a Daphne Loves Derby sort of phase (as seen by the recently listened to songs). It felt like I was going through the motions for so many things - prayer meeting, senior night, even today at church. On Friday, I was at the DuPage County Jail in Wheaton for a tour. On the drive home, I must've been really tired, because I think i fell asleep about 3-4 times... and couldn't remember anything after passing Danada Square. It's a weird, disconcerting, and altogether strange feeling to arrive home and have no idea how you got there... such was this past week.
Today, after feeling the urge to just get out of the house, went for a jog/walk around the neighborhood.
. I passed by the mini-park preserve where we built a fort when I was 10. Some of the broken pieces of wood are still there.
. Felt apprehensive whenever I felt cars behind me on the sidewalk-less streets past my subdivision. Realized we can either run away from something (I'm awfully good at that, aren't I?) or run towards something. Was reminded of Paul's calling for us to press forward.
. Ran past a father goose who was overprotective of his youth. Was quacked at by said goose. Thought about that family, and how overprotective we can be sometimes of friends, brothers and sisters, and others.
. Saw someone strange getting the mail out of your mailbox. Then remembered, you don't live there anymore. The last time I was at your house was a few weeks after your accident. You still didn't remember us. Wondered how you were going a few thousand miles away from your home church, how things would've been different if you stayed and was here for Senior Night... prayed for you.
. Saw you playing basketball with your little sister. Remembered when you were a Junior and I was just a freshman, walking home, talking about school, the future, your future, and life in general. Smiled.
And came home feeling strangely excited and strangely hopeful.
Maybe this is a new beginnings of sorts? You talked about broken promises today - I've broken aplenty in my past, as so wonderfully illustrated by her retelling of X and I's devious-ness (hehe).
Maybe this is me getting over the things your broken promises.
Anyway. Cheers to a new start..