a resounding shout to the heavens

Currently Playing: Caedmon's Call - Before There Was Time

It's not the grade... really.
It's not the fact that I'm getting more B's this semester than I have in my last two semesters combined.
Or that I've utterly screwed up my GPA.

But what does that mean? It means that I can't handle doing everytime. I don't have the time to study for so-and-so test... to make so-and-so deadline, to work on so-and-so assignment and maintain my sanity.

Why don't you explain that to your parents..? I'm sure they'll understand.

I know they would... they would gladly look at my schedule and start snipping away like they always do. Except this time, there's no difference between this year and last year.. except for church.


I am so scared of losing church, the youth group, you guys.... my precious Family that I've missed seeing for the past two years..... I don't care if it means that I get a 5.0, I just want... sigh. James 1:2-4 - For you know that the testing of your faith builds perserverance... And looking back, those lessons cannot be denied. I just don't want to go back there again.

You love me nonetheless.... even if I fail miserably and forget even the simplest of the TNEOMs, Your love transcends all of that. When will I be able to live like that?

..... When will I be free?

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