1.05.2005

 

reoccurring feelings, and then some.

Currently Playing: Rebecca St. James - God of Wonders


"Stop.... just listen to the beat and play with that, k?"


She unconsciously rubbed the smoothed down part of the stick and nodded. The last thing she saw before she closed her eyes was the faded grey of the John Dunlop twirling in his right hand. A reluctant sense of comfort descended upon her rushed state of mind as the lone guitar strings swirled to create a simple harmony. She counted to herself - 5, 6, 7, 8 - then started to play. Starting to smile with approval, she opened her eyes to a familiar face of disappointment.


An exasperated sigh escaped from her throat as the melody took a screeching halt. "What now?"


"You're playing too fast again. Why aren't you listening?"


She sighed and put down the sticks on the drum in front of her. "Why aren't you?"


-----------------------------------------


It's kinda funny how you think you know people. How you can spend hours talking to that person and really get to know him/her.... not just as an acquantinces, not just as friends, but as true siblings in Christ. How you feel that rushing sense of pride whenever a prayer is answered - the prayer that you prayed night after night - or the sting to your heart when things just don't fall their way. How you automatically get defensive whenever someone blantantly points out their flaws... even if you agree. How you've grown to care for, check up on, pray for, and just love a person.... for what you think you know. It's kinda funny how all of that sometimes... can be just a plastic mask.


I don't even know who you are anymore... and it scares me.



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