where would i be without You?
"If the general public wants it, then it'd be okay."
"So... if I killed Andrew, and everyone thought it was okay, then it wouldn't be morally wrong?"
"No... if everyone thought that killing Andrew was okay, then it's okay."
It's conversations like these that make me mentally smack my head.
Anyway. This week's been really, really draining. Physics test... bleh. Sometimes I wonder why I'm taking all AP courses... I'm not even doing all that well in them. Flowp goes Shendy's GPA. Only good part about staying up late every night = Coffee.
Sigh... I don't know what happened. I was doing so well - successfully juggling school, yearbook, math team, JETS, Writing Center, YG... and suddenly, one ball slipped. And now I've dropped everything... and I'm scrambling to try and start to juggle again. After the skit last Friday... and if you replace mitosis with angular momentum... Kelsey could totally be me. Sigh. God's grace is funny like that sometimes....
Actually, over the summer I started to really go through the Old Testament. I stopped by 1 Kings for some reason when school started... eh, it was probably because school started. I started reading again today... the part where God tells Elijah to go by the river and wait, and he would be fed by ravens. At this time, my thoughts were pretty much - Okay, if God told me to go sit by Lake Michigan and that seagulls would come and feed me... I'd tell him he was nuts. But I guess that's the beauty of grace... it's unpredictable in appearance... but steadfast in its path - always back to God.
It's just funny like that sometimes.......
That when I'm feeling INCREDIBLY stressed.... little blessings pop up. Things to make laugh, friends who buy me coffee(!!!), a nickel or two, thoughtful support.... sigh. Sometimes I just get so sick of this life and this world in general. Sometimes I'm just sick of having to go through school when there's so much MORE out there. Sometimes I'm feeling so longing just to go home.... Sometimes I'm just so fed up with the people around me. Sometimes it feels like my relationships are just so messed up... when things with you finally get better, after what - 14 months of fighting? - I just happen to meet your cosmic double with whom similar problems arise. Sometimes... I'm just so sick of being here and being human.
And so all the balls drop....