Currently Playing: CCMC Easter Sunday recording - Why


sigh. this song.... it never fails to bring such humbling conviction and strong emotions in this cold heart of mine. camp couldn't have come at a better time.


My precious son
I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe you in robes of my own
Jesus this hurts me much more then you know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard your unbearable cries
The power in your blood
Destroys all of the lies
Soon you'll see past their unmerciful lies
Look there below
See the child trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell you why....
She is why you must die

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this whole college thing is starting to get to me... all this talk about EDing and getting in(rare) and getting deferred(more likely) is making me really apprehensive about where i'll be 8 months from now. a typical conversation:

friend: so where do you want to go?
me: um... i don't know.
friend: where did you apply to?
me: um.... *lists off 12 schools*
friend: oooh cool. what's your first choice?
me: um..... i don't know.....


i had a dream that i got into cornell for ed... but i only applied regularly. but in my dream, i was incredibly excited about going to cornell. sometimes i just want to do just that - go to somewhere majestic, with cobblestone roads and stone buildings that have been around for decades.... somewhere where i don't know anybody at all and can just start over.


but then... reality hits. and realizing that so many of my incredibly brilliant and charming friends didn't get in, and i probably won't either...... and probably end up at uiuc. with about 1293709 other people i know.